Friday, May 25, 2012

My Second Coming Out

This week has been a second coming out for me. Saying out loud that I'm a photographer and I'm going to do it full time  is somewhat similar to my experience of coming out as a gay. I remember when I was liking girls, but still dating men, and I would quantify my queerness saying stuff like, well, I'm 60% into guys and 40% into women, and then it was 80% into girls and 20% into guys and then I met this one girl and the quantifying stopped. I knew I was 100% gay and I stopped lying to myself and others and came out. 

Having this secret photography life while working the day job has kind of been like that. I'd be giving my all at the day job and photographing clients all weekend and sometimes after or before work. I didn't talk about it at the office because I felt ashamed that I loved something more than my non-profit organization. When you work at a non-profit you're usually doing 4 people's jobs for not a ton of money because you love what the organization's mission statement and that is very true for me. I work at one of the most well respected and longest running LGBT arts organizations. Every year we put on an 11 day film festival that is one of the funnest events in the entire world. Photography stuff started to consume my thoughts and I felt incredibly guilty. I'd been promoted to a director and was empowered to create and implement incredible programs to serve the LGBT community, but I was totally cheating on my day job with photography. Something had to give and so, I did some soul searching, just like I did when I met that one girl, and decided that I couldn't hide anymore. I had to tell people who I was! That saying about how the truth can set you free, um, yes, totally, I get it! 

Posting on Facebook and my two blogs that I'm quitting the day job to pursue photography full time was extremely liberating and like coming out as gay, I think that people will now fully see me for who I am. I love women and photography. Simple as that! 

And if I have a party to celebrate my new life as a photographer I am totally going to be eating this thing!

Source: via Sarah on Pinterest

What have you been keeping in that's just dying to get out. Sing it from the rooftops - you'll feel so much better.


PS - I'm not in any way asserting that coming out (as a photographer and as gay) hasn't had some profoundly sad consequences. Telling both truths has been extremely difficult, but I'm not focusing on that today. 

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