Monday, June 25, 2012

Patience is Annoying

Being a psychotherapist is weird.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that all the knowledge does not make one immune.  I still totally go off the rails sometimes.  I know why, how to make it better, and how to prevent it next time around, yet still, I'm not completely immune to just plain going nuts.

The past week or so has been a huge game of patience.  And blah, it's annoying!  I'm usually pretty good at the waiting game and can be totally cool hanging out while things come through.  BUT the last handful of days I have been waiting on SO much, it's making me a little wiggy.  Sarah keeps me in check by reminding me that the rest of the world is not on my insanely fast paced schedule.  That helps. But as we continue to blast into outer space at hyper speed I forget all the tools and mindfulness about waiting and patience that I know to be true.  Here's a refresher, mostly for myself, but for all of you out there as well, who just get wacky over waiting.
  • Stuck isn't really stuck, it's marinating.  We like to use the word stuck a lot.  I'm stuck.  Things aren't moving.  I can't take being stuck anymore.  What I know to be true is that being stuck, feeling stuck is actually a time of great importance.  It's not stuck, it's marinating.  We need periods of slow pace and times of feeling like things aren't moving  to rest up for what's to come.  Sometimes we get lucky and it's a few days.  Other times it's a lot longer than that.  I've been there with the year or so of being stuck.  ARGH.  Nightmare, but if I had known what was in store when life got moving again, I would have gladly sat and marinated.  
  • Being stuck leads us on the road to great creativity and innovation. You can't have one without the other.  It's a neuropsychological fact.  For real. More to come on this later.  This lovely little gem needs a whole week, maybe a month to talk about.  
  • Patience is a process.  Part of patience is impatience.  It's not a one-way street.  We go back and forth.  Usually driven by anxiety, okay, almost always driven by anxiety, patience can seem endless and then, pow, we absolutely positively need to know and know right now otherwise we will explode.  The key is, and I like to think of it as a little game, we must learn to tolerate the unknown.  SO huge and way to big to even start talking about on a Monday morning. But there it is, the unknown.  We as humans are really bad at being friends with it. 
That's what I know.  Sort of making me feel a little better.  Freud said, and I'm paraphrasing, that the antithesis to repetition is that capacity of thought.  In other words, if we can think about something, really think about it, we are less likely to repeat it.  I challenge this concept on a daily basis.  So far, he's been right every time.  

Happy Monday



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