Wednesday, August 15, 2012

So Now What?

Someone told you the truth.  Great, so now what do you do?  I wish it were that simple.  As I mentioned yesterday, in this truth telling brigade, delivery is key, but actually less so than timing.  We are not always ready to hear the truth.  Be it about our business or otherwise.

This timing thing is tricky.  As a psychotherapist I watched patients struggle with timing quite a bit.  I did too, in treating them.  There is a window.  Sometimes it opens wide, other times just a sliver.  Moments of insight are best delivered during this opening.  It is a difficult match to make and one that we cannot expect those in our Truth Brigade to get right.  It's really difficult even with years of training.  So then why bother, right? Well here's the skinny, the window always opens again.  ALWAYS.  I'm not kidding, it's practically scientific.  Also of great value is that when something within us does finally shift and we can make use of this important information, we can reflect on what truth has been delivered in the past.  In other words, truth is not like milk.  It doesn't expire.

If you are delivering the truth and it is not heard don't feel discouraged.  Your words were heard, maybe they just can't be digested right now.  And that's really okay.

Everyone's Truth Brigade is going to look and sound different.  Sarah and I are straight forward.  We like it to the point.  But that is not everyone.  Know your limits.  God I want to write that in all caps for a million reasons.


That felt really good.  Okay back to it.  To participate in a Truth Brigade it's best to know yourself a little bit.  DO you take criticism well?  Do you give it well?  Find others who feel similarly.

Once you have gotten feedback, take a breath.  There might be parts you disagree with, maybe it made you mad, sad, excited, whatever, just sit with it for a minute.  Whatever the emotion, just sit with it for a minute and really try to hear what the person has said.  Maybe it rings true, maybe not.  Maybe it feels totally useless to you.  Remember, this kind of feedback offers valuable perspective even if you disagree.  Take a breath and try to take it all in.  Repeating the message is often a good idea, especially if it triggers strong emotions.  Know and focus on EXACTLY what was said.  Separate the facts from the emotions.

Taking action might not happen right away. That's fine.  This is all a process.  Maybe you need help taking action.  That's what the Truth Brigade is for.  We don't leave each other hanging.  Ask for ideas on how to put changes into action.  The heart behind this movement is for all of us to work towards success together.  This is not about tearing each other down, but about offering perspective to help support each other.

Send us your questions.




  1. Lisa, this is a great post and thanks for the gentle reminder to KNOW MY LIMITS. Sometimes I dish the truth too much/hard, so I have to be more attentive.

    1. Thanks Sarah. I think truth telling requires a great amount of trust. It's almost always a bad idea to engage in it with someone who you do not have a history with. You need a strong foundation to hold the relationship together and keep all parties feeling heard when it comes to the truth. I want to have KNOW YOUR LIMITS posted on billboards all over the place.